You are definately right about the strobe. You should see the original. I was having trouble getting the color I wanted in my shallow photos like this. It seemed like the strobe did fine on my deeper dives ()lots of color) but just faded into blue once I got into the shallow reef where there was no ambient light. Maybe this is a function of shutter-speed or aperature. My camera does not allow manual control of either.
What combination would you have chosen?
Getting closer would have helped too. And portrait mode might have been better. Although I think the cropping is a totally different picture. I like having the fish in the upper left and I think the schooling fish in the background are amazing. They are not as visible in your version. What is the large yellow spot in the foreground bottom center in the cropped version? That is not in the original.
As you get closer to the surface you enter into a strange "twilight zone" this is where the majority of colour is still getting filtered out by the water - blue-green only. At the same point your strobe becomes less efficient because it competes with the ambient light and has less of a torch effect.
This is why a more powerful torch is needed during the day... Video users will tell you this, and why more often than not they switch to correcting filters rather than 2Kw of lighting gear. Maybe using just a 100w for close-up.
So, given this scenario you can understand why your strobe needed to be operating at a higher power setting to compensate for this phenomenon.
In the situation above I would have set the camera in medium bright mode, raised the stobe high in one hand set to full power and composed the portrait shot. A meter or so back would have given the full gorgonian, and brought the sun into the frame. The cameras metering system would have wanted to expose for a silhouette - Thats what it needed I feel then the strobe would have done the business on the foreground & fan. Meanwhile all of the background fish would be clearly silouetted nicely.
Even in Landscape the same effect would have been acheived, slightly higher in the water - At the end of the day it is to ones own personal choice: But, next time why not experiment with both!
[Checkout the first shot in the Manado pictures I posted yesterday - similar but not the same]
The yellow spot is flare induced by the artificial sun effect I added