For sale - Wife and mother-inlaw

Genuine reason for sale. Money needed to purchase new strobe.

Used but as new condition. Will split pair.

Purchaser to collect

LOL. Can I throw in 2 kids. I could get away more then!

I need unmanipulated pictures first - I got swaps too.

On second thoughts....

I'll let you keep the women if you take mine and I'll throw in a free strobe, a Ducati, and a laptop!

Only if she cooks, brews beer, dives, goes like a rabbit and turns into a pizza at midnight.

She can leave a Rabbit standing, but she has alergies to cooking, ironing and supporting her own weight when the TV is on.

What type of storbe??? Hmmmm

Please submit specifications on the wife.

with pictures

I hope she's not a bowler.

she has alergies to cooking, ironing and supporting her own weight when the TV is on.

Bob,

Please complete the following "I decided to get married because............"

.... I thought I was signing an HP agreement - Turns out it's one of those that takes a lifetime to pay back, and you cannot trade it in for a newer model without losing a house & half your money!

"I decided to get married because............"

Taking the liberty of answering for Bob...

She can leave a Rabbit standing

This thread reminded me of an old email I recieved:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other "valuable" programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed “undesirable" programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed

Desperate

Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Great Lakes Beer 9.9. Please remember that Great Lakes Beer is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly WAV files.

DO NOT INSTALL Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another boyfriend program. These are not supported applications, and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the

program Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance Husband 1.0 system performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and SingleMaltScotch 4.5 combined with such applications as that old standby . . . Lingerie 6.9.

Good luck,

Tech Support Rep