On our recent trip from LA to the BTS show, we were routed through Chicago on both flights. Needless to say, the flights were totally screwed up on both. Given the long delays, my wife composed the following ode:
Fly United
We head to the airport, it’s still very dark.
After finding the lot there is no place to park.
An arrival passenger carrying his case,
Motions he is leaving so we’ll take his space.
Off to the terminal, we know what’s ahead.
Long lines and security is what we all dread.
Out comes the laptop, off come the shoes,
A long hike to the gate before we can cruise.
Boarding the plane, we are greeted by crew,
And led to our seat by a “mileage plus†stew.
With our carry on luggage stored in overhead bins,
We flop in our seats where our knees hit our chins.
The gent up in front throws back his seat,
While the brat in the back keeps kicking his feet.
We do hope they serve an adult libation,
This will help to produce a numbing sensation.
The seat signs go off, I’m in need of the head,
But the carts have me blocked which makes me see red.
We know that United is making some cuts,
But on one of our flights there were no pretzels or nuts.
Our next flight was cancelled, with snow all around.
Which meant that most planes remained on the ground?
I approached the kind agent and told him our plight,
And we managed to get on the very next flight.
For more improved service, ya gotta spend bucks,
Cause flying United economy sucks.
