I'm wondering how you simulated (stimulated?) that 3 inch nudi in the bathtub 
Re exposure, video is different from stills. If there's any significant movement you'll most of the time want to fix the shutter at 1/60 if you're shooting 60i, 1/50 if you're shooting 50i, or 1/48 if you're shooting 24p. But if the camera is locked down and there's little movement (e.g. nudi) you might be able to use slower shutter speed to give you more light, instead of using too much gain which would introduce noise. If there's movement (e.g. juvenile reef fish) then slower shutter speeds give you a "strobey" effect (try that in the bathtub). Faster shutter speeds miss some of the action and you'll get a slightly steppy effect, so I prefer to reduce light with ND filters if I need to. But again if there's little movement then a faster shutter speed is not a problem.
F4 is a nice sweet spot to aim for. Much bigger iris would give you a shallow depth of field, which can be nice for making your subject stand out against a blurred background. But with diopters the DOF can be just too shallow, like just a few mm sometimes. Smaller iris like >f6.8 can start to make the image degrade.
With lights I generally shoot macro by locking off the shutter at 1/50 (I currently shoot 1080-50i), the gain at 0dB, put the iris in auto to let it do it's thing, then put it back into manual and perhaps stop it up or down a bit depending on how the image and zebras look.
Would be interested to see a still of how the image looks with your stronger diopters behind a dome port.