Airports that Suck !!

Hurghada is an interesting experience...

Hurghada is fantastic... you should have seen it in the old days, when it was a hot shed (the queues probably started in 1995, and haven't cleared yet) and the visa counter looked like a game of American football!

Tim

Although Grand Cayman is not a bad airport, I'll never understand why they have to set off a fog horn 10 times before they make any announcement on their PA system. I guess the airport manager must be deaf. ( He or she certainly must be by now )

The toilets in the Manila airport don't have seats!

Need I say more?

Dave

How many votes for Brisbane.

Your regular transfer from international to domestic terminal usually runs something like this

Exit international terminal air conditioning cool, calm and collected. Push your trolley the 200 or so meter until you get to the transfer train station. Except some bastard has lined the entry to the station with airport equivalent of the maginot linee. Pick up kits bag, judging by the weight, some kindly soul has deposited a corpse in one of them. Walk remaining 20m to pay booth. Begin to sweat. Pay the eye gouging 7 dollar fare for the 5 min ride to the domestic terminal. Continuing sweating begin cursing.

Drag corpse to platform. Look at schedule. Next train to arrives in......45 mins. Thank you God. Make quick mental calculations 3 hours for transfer. Subtract 30 mins to clear immigration, 20 mins to pick up bags, 1 hours to reassure dept of agriculture that boxer shorts weren t harbouring the elbola virus, 45 min for train.......I am going to miss my check in.

Swear and sweat some more. Decisive action needed. Pick up corpse. Drag through Maginot line and along walkway (all the trolleys gone). Sweat now running through arse checks and down leg. Get to taxi rank. Develop nervous tick.

Collar a cab. Get in tell cabbie destination. Be sure to buckle in first, so as to with stand the torrent of abuse you will soon experience. Nod and smile whilst digesting stories about mothers sexual proclivity. Gather that having waited in line for 1 hour cabbie is not overly impressed by 12 dollar fare.

Arrive at domestic terminal. Be sure to retrieve baggage before you pay, reducing possibility of cab departing in clud of burnt rubber complete with your bags and now dismembered right arm which was caught in boot.

Drag corpse into concourse. Wipe sweet out of eyes long enough focus on departure screen. Realize crappy Jetstar/Virgin Blue Flight delayed 2 hours. Develop hernia as you attempt to throw corpse across departure concourse.

Wow! What a great chance to vent. I lived in Dallas for most of my life, so I flew out of DFW. Very nicely organized; almost like 5 small terminals. One can change terminals and still remain behind security. Now it is Ohare. Oy! Oy! Oy! Crowed with a miserably long queue to serve all terminals. Five years ago our flight from DFW to ORD was to begin early in the morning of the day before Thanksgiving. We landed at ORD at approximately 22:00 and stayed on the tarmac for 7 more hours. In any kind of heavy weather, ORD is at best delayed or sometimes shut down. To get to the air port it is best to hire a cabbie who is training for the joust at Medieval Times.

T5 at Heathrow seems to be quarantined from the rest of the airport. One lands at one terminal and has to be bused to the next and reenter security. LAX has the same rechecking through security when changing terminals. Also, it is very ratty compared to HKG, SIN, or NRT. What must our visitors from the east think? Thankfully, I have been spared MIA for many years now.

I can not really knock smaller airports like Barbados which is more causally run. Show up and hour and a half before an early morning flight to St. Vic. and there is no one there until about 30 minutes before departure. No worries!

Bob

The toilets in the Manila airport don't have seats!

 

Need I say more?

 

Dave

There are no toilet seats on any of the toilets in most of the Philippines, nor is there much in the way of TP in the stalls either. Bring either a seat cover, or lots of tissues.

I must say that the ladies' room toilets in the arrivals area of the Sorong airport were the worst I've ever seen. Shades of the 'worst toilet in the world' scene in Trainspotting. I took one look and walked right back out!

How many votes for Brisbane.

I'm sure that I $%ched about Brisbane before. If not, the accusation that (loudly) and to my horror, that if I was overweight with my carry on (by 2 pounds) that I would, if my luggage fell out of the overhead, (this was the loud part to all in a mile vicinity) "You are going to kill a BABY!!", made Brisie, a lovely city, decline in my opinion. I really liked it there, save for the airport Nazis. The looks I got were, let's just say it might have been better if I was a convicted axe murderer. Rather intimidating. I admire Sir Branson. This time legs and blond hair obviously superceded intellect. I hope that she's not working on the space flight. He may have to issue refunds, if she is not tossed out of an airlock.

Cheers, all,

You just need to take up cold water...our airport is pretty great. Not quite as good as Singapore, but close.

Cheers,

Marli..the almost baby killer!!!! Arrgghh!

Ah, none of you have experienced the joys of Pointe Noire Airport (Republic of the Congo) in the 90's.

On arrival your passport containing perfectly valid visa is confiscated, to be collected the following day "for a fee".

If you don't have a Yellow Fever Certificate they have a well used needle filled with something, unless you buy a certificate "for a fee".

On departure you need a bulldozer to get through the huge crowd all trying to get into the airport without tickets, and once inside the nice customs man will demand you give him something (in my case he wanted my belt) in exchange for being allowed to leave the country.

As for facilities, some things are best not mentioned.

Some people wonder why it's not on the tourist map!

Mexico City has my vote. Ive been through it too many times, and every time is a hassle with cameras! They wanted to confiscate my regular AA batteries the last time!

Miami for the killer combination of stupidity and unpleasantness.

LAX for the complete lack of taxis.

Port Sudan for making life as difficult as possible, plus the stifling heat, physical bullying and racism.

My current bugbear is airports that offer a costly porter service and don't let you touch the trolleys! Grrrr!

LAX - treated like cattle in an abattoir

I travel a lot, and find myself in the most avoidable of places.

Baghdad (BIAP) was the absolute worst in 2004. No electricity, no running water, shot to pieces, no immigration or customs to speak of, just a bunch of heavily armed people and bomb dogs. It's actually somewhat normal these days. Kabul has a new terminal and the Afghans are making a go of it- the walk out of the airport to the car is still horrific at a kilometer of hectoring baggage handlers and money dealers, but it is improved.

CDG in Paris I avoid like the plague. O'Hare is not one whit better unless one enjoys sitting on the tarmac for endless hours. Heathrow I can actually live with, but I've only done it in a transit status.

Avoid Dubai during the Hajj. Otherwise it's a great place, particularly if flying Emirates Business or First, as you get your own terminal. THAT is service!

Queen Aliyah Airport in Jordan- it's nearly 30km outside of Amman. Regardless of how the taxi drivers wail, do not pay them over 20 dinars for the trip into Amman (they are not metered).

Wendy

Sydney

You have to pay to get from INT terminal to DOM

Takes too long to get between terminals, people are always pushing it to make flights

People seem unhappy and rude

No free WIFI

Was happy with SAN, LAX, SFO, BKK, CPT and others.