Rob the trouble is that these rules are either made up by diving people like SSi or PADI when it comes to certifications, or a local medical board. I worked in Australia for a while in Diving, and I am pretty sure you go by local medical laws. Which is fine, except for the people at the medical board who make up the rules probably don't dive and have made the rules up from what they understand to be the risks from a text book.
When it comes down to it there has not been that much research done into recreational diving, the fact of the matter is that accidents happen. My boss in Australia had one rule, if they want to dive you will take them diving. We had our own doctor on call via telephone so when we were on the barrier reef and found out about a condition a possible diver had we could ask him, asthma was never a reason to stop them from diving .. unless they were on heavy medication and it was exercise enduced. i.e. without meds taken every 10 mins or so an asthma attack would happen. A lot of people have an inhaler and use it when they get out of breath (which could be fixed by getting in better shape).
The rules / laws are set to keep organisations who can be sued safe, not necessarily to keep the individual safe. Just like the courses now adays are set up to make the organisations as much money as possible not to teach the students as much information as possible. It sad, but thats the way it is.
If someone has astma and have been told they can'tdive, find a diving doctor, a doctor who either specialises in it, or is a doctor who happens to dive, they will tell you for sure, and they will also be able to help you out with the ear nose and throat problems. The point i was trying to get across is that a LOT of people just don't equalise right. I can be completely blocked up and still get down because I know how to make it work if i have to, i am normally very lucky.
Two biggest mistakes equalising are not pinching the nose very well (through the mask it can be tricky for various reasons, or two .. believe it or not .. people breath through their mouth while equalising hence they are not equalising.)
If you do have regular problems equalising .. both on land and in water .. i would hazard a guess you have a heavey or loud breathing at night sometime snooring. This can be fixed surgically. Some people just have shallow ducts in their sinuses and air passageways, these need to be kept as clear as possible for diving, so keep hydrated and healthy.
Sudafed can help too to clear out airways for equalisation, but here's what I feel about this. I know they come in 24 hour dosages, but what happens if it works while you are going down .. you equalise fine, but on the way back up .. it wears off and you can't ascend, you have a choice .. ascend and blow your ear drums, or wait while someone ascends gets either another pill for you to take and then wait for that to kick in .. or for them to bring down a hyperdermic needle and pierce your eardrums so you can ascend (which I have seen have to be done).
So i think if i was to pick a key element in all of that, if you need medication, something other than your own helath and physical abilities to be able to do something then maybe you should really consider not doing it, if however you can do these things on your own abilities even if it does mean a change of lifestyle you are probably better doing it that way. People train to go on a ski holiday .. why don't they to go on a dive holiday?
(me saying this makes me such a hypocrit, but I am lucky that my body doesn't have any ailments that make me unfit for diving)