Paul, there is no "basic photo theory" that suggests that FF sensors offer better IQ that cropped ones. Regarding your perceptions, I would suggest that those are influenced by your prejudices, not objective tests.
"Tonality" has become a buzzword for all the hoped-for differences in technologies that are difficult to realize in practice. Yes, tonality refers to something specific, but in digital sensors there is no tonality, there is only dynamic range, noise, and color filtration. All 35mm-based dSLRs offered today used 12 bit converters and therefore offer the same ceiling in dynamic range. With noise performance being so good at base ISOs there can be no appreciable difference in "tonality". Sensor size has absolutely nothing to do with this. You are not getting better tonality out of your FF sensor than others are getting with their cropped ones unless you are shooting everything at high ISO.
With the introduction of the 1D3 and its 14 bit converter, Canon was careful not make specific claims regarding noise performance and dynamic range. Instead, it said the extra bits would result in improved "tonality". Why did they say this? The extra bits allow the 1D3 to extend its dynamic range performance up to two additional stops at low ISO. It offers nothing at high ISO. The problem is that most images don't need and can't benefit from two more stops of DNR when 12 stops is already plenty. Because of that, Canon realizes that it may be hard to demonstrate the benefit of 14 bit converters so it uses the weasel-word "tonality" instead. Note that I'm not against 14 bit converters--quite the contrary. For a while, the 1D3 is likely to be the king of low ISO image quality yet it is a cropped sensor camera. When the 1Ds3 arrives, assuming it also gets 14 bit converters, it will likely retake that crown not because of FF but because it offers 2x the pixel count.
Paul, you use "tonality" in much the same way. You believe FF sensors are inherently better yet you can't point to anything specific to make your case so you resort to the intangible and unmeasurable. To add insult, you dismiss others by claiming their technique doesn't enable them to appreciate the differences. The real reason is that any inherent IQ differences are imaginary. Your acknowledgement that the differences between the 5D and D2x are subtle is proof that your imagined IQ benefits don't exist. There is ample proof that, at low ISOs, the D2x is certainly a match for the 5D regarding IQ. Even the contentious forums at dpreview largely recognize that.
UW photo pros can consider the use of wide primes whereas amateurs want and benefit from zooms. Canon has, to date, had no acceptable wide angle zoom for FF yet it offers arguably the best WA zoom for its cropped sensor cameras. There is simply no argument that shooting WA underwater is much more challenging with FF sensors and no one would dismiss soft edges as being a non-issue. Regarding macro, FF sensors require the use of 1.5x more magnification to shoot the equivalent subject. Depending on your subjects that may not be difficult, but a 60mm becomes a 100mm, a 100mm is now 150mm, and 150mm needs a teleconverter. FF sensors may or may not offer better IQ for macro but there's no doubt that they will require larger, heavier, more expensive lenses to shoot equivalent subjects.
I am not a FF detractor, I was once and still am an advocate, but with the benefits of FF come considerable liabilities and the end result you get underwater comes not just from your choice of sensor but also from your lenses, ports, housings and strobes. No one would sanely argue that FF bodies have a superior choice of lenses suitable for UW use, but if you are a photo pro with the ability to log sufficient hours underwater, FF may be a justifiable choice. If I were to go that route, it would be with a 1Ds2, not a 5D. I would want the extra resolution in exchange for the pain.
Getting back to the original claims, if ISO 1600 were really a high priority underwater (an odd choice) then the user should seriously consider a 5D. A 20D/30D would not be a compelling choice over a D80 for that. Likewise, there is no advantage for a Canon system over a Nikon for the choice of lenses listed either. Finally, if IQ were considered, a case could be made that the D80 is better than a 20D/30D.